The Dokkodo: Miyamoto Musashi’s 21 rules to live by - part 8.
Never let yourself be saddened by a separation.
The Dokkodo is a set of 21 rules for life written by the legendary samurai and philosopher Miyamoto Musashi in the days before his death in 1645. The eighth rule in this series is: “Never let yourself be saddened by a separation”, and this article will explore what this means and how we can apply it to our lives (if you want to read this series from the beginning, click here for part one).
What does it mean to never let yourself be saddened by a separation?
To never let yourself be saddened by a separation means to avoid feeling sorrow, grief, or regret when we part ways with someone or something that we love, like, or enjoy. It means to resist the urge to cling to or mourn over the past, which is gone and cannot be changed. It means to refrain from being influenced or disturbed by our emotions, which can cloud our judgment, perception, and action, holding us back from moving forward with our lives.
Not letting yourself be saddened by a separation does not mean that you should ignore or deny our feelings of sadness, which are natural and human, conversely, it t does not mean to live a life of detachment, indifference, or coldness. It also does not mean we need to suppress or repress our love, affection, or attachment for people, experiences or things.
Not letting yourself be saddened by a separation means to acknowledge and understand our feelings of sadness as they are, without being obsessed with them, controlled by them, or identified with them. It means to evaluate and regulate our feelings of sadness with wisdom, maturity, and moderation, seeking the true nature or reason behind them. It also means to express and communicate our feelings of sadness with honesty, respect, and compassion.
Why is it important to never let yourself be saddened by a separation? Never letting yourself be saddened by a separation is important for several reasons. Firstly, it is the key to inner peace, true happiness, and self freedom. When we do not let ourselves be saddened by a separation, we free ourselves from the suffering and restraint caused by our attachment, which is one of the three poisons in Buddhism, along with greed and ignorance. Never being saddened by a separation allows us to stop being attached to our ego, which at its core is the source of our attachment. We can then stop being troubled by our emotions, which are a result of our attachment, and are the cause of our unhappiness.
When we do not let ourselves be saddened by a separation, we also open ourselves to the abundance of joy, love, and wisdom that life offers. It allows us to start being more present in the moment, which is something that we can then have direct control over. We start being optimistic about the future, which is the result of our being more present, allowing us to be courageous in the face of change and uncertainty, both of which are inevitable when committing to consciously living a progressive life.
Secondly, it is the foundation of growth, learning, and improvement. When we do not let ourselves be saddened by a separation, we create more opportunity to improve ourselves and our skills. We stop being stagnant, stuck, or limited in our thinking, and start being dynamic, flexible, and adaptable in response to the opportunities presented to us. We stop being satisfied, content, or comfortable with our circumstances, and we start being curious, adventurous, and innovative.
When we do not let ourselves be saddened by a separation, we also contribute in small part to the world and its overall well-being. We stop being selfish, harmful, or destructive by pursuing or ruminating on that which we cannot have, and become more altruistic, helpful, and constructive in our actions. We stop being allowing ourselves to be isolated, alienated, or indifferent to our situation, and start our journey to be more connected, engaged, or involved.
Thirdly, it is also a source of harmony, balance, and unity. When we do not let ourselves be saddened by a separation, we harmonize ourselves and our relationships, and we cease any hostile, aggressive, or violent tendencies. We become more friendly, peaceful, and respectful, and we stop being divisive, exclusive, or prejudiced in our views. We also become deliberately more inclusive, tolerant, and empathetic of others around us and their circumstances.
When we do not let ourselves be saddened by a separation, we also balance ourselves and our environment. We stop being wasteful, excessive, or imbalanced in our ways, becoming more moderate, sufficient, and balanced. We stop any chaotic, disorderly, or unstable behaviors and begin living a life that is more orderly, stable, and harmonious.
How can we practice never letting ourselves be saddened by a separation?
There are many ways to practice never letting ourselves be saddened by a separation, but here are some simple and effective ones:
- Practice acceptance. Acceptance is the practice of embracing our reality as it is, without resisting, denying, or avoiding it. It helps us to accept and let go of the past, which is gone and cannot be changed. It helps us to accept and face challenges and circumstances in the present, and helps us to accept and embrace the future, which is unknown and unpredictable, yet able to be influenced.
- Practice mindfulness. Mindfulness is the practice of paying attention to the present moment with openness, curiosity, and acceptance. It helps us to be aware of our sensations, thoughts, emotions, and impulses in the moment, without being attached to them, controlled by them, or identified with them. It helps us to recognize the triggers, patterns, and consequences of our sadness, without judging them, resisting them, or avoiding them, and it helps us to cultivate a calm, clear, and compassionate state of mind with which to face the world.
- Practice compassion. Compassion is the practice of feeling and showing empathy, kindness, and care for ourselves and others, without being pitying, patronizing, or intrusive. It helps us to understand and relieve the suffering of ourselves and others, without feeling guilty, ashamed, or helpless, and it helps us to celebrate, support and encourage the happiness of ourselves and others, without feeling envious, competitive, or arrogant. Doing so helps us to cultivate a compassionate, loving, and forgiving state of mind.
Conclusion.
The eighth element of the Dokkodo is to never let yourself be saddened by a separation. This is a powerful and profound rule that can enhance our lives for the better by empowering us to let go of the past and look forward to the future. By never letting ourselves be saddened by a separation, we can achieve many things, including peace, happiness, and freedom; growth, learning, and improvement; and harmony, balance, and unity. We can also overcome the challenges, difficulties, and uncertainties of life with courage, resilience, and optimism, which will allow us to live in harmony with ourselves, others, and the world.
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